We have recently made it through a round of The Creeping Crud here at the House of Wen, one that has attacked all five of us in turn and given me a renewed sense of gratitude for the good health our family usually enjoys.
When my kids were babies, they had one mode during sickness: Pathetic. Seriously. There is nothing more pathetic than a sick baby. But as they’ve gotten older, they’ve developed Modes of Illness that correspond with their individual personalities. Sort of like the three kids in PJ Masks transform at night to become their superhero alter egos, my kids each transform into a modified version of themselves: Picky, Clingy, and Zonked.
A caveat here: Yakko does not BECOME picky when he is sick, as though the rest of the time he is not picky at all. Hahahahaha. Far from it. From the moment Yakko was born, he’s been on the lookout for Things Which Do Not Meet His Standards, of which there are many, as his standards are high and exacting. When he is sick, he becomes exponentially more so. Last week, during the throes of his illness, he requested a Popsicle. We have some, even in the one flavor he likes, but these Popsicles once melted and refroze during a fit of temper from our freezer, and he now refuses to eat them because “they taste funny.” He expressed extreme displeasure with my pronouncement that no, I would not drop everything and run to the grocery store to purchase new Popsicles when we had some in—this bears repeating, HIS FAVORITE FLAVOR—that might have been a little misshapen. Similarly, he refused oyster crackers a few days ago because “they tasted stale.” Fair enough; the box had been open a while and they may very well have been stale. But he ALSO refused to eat the apple slices that briefly TOUCHED the oyster crackers because, in his words, “The apples taste stale now, too.”
Meanwhile, Dot becomes…Clingy!
Dot is normally pretty independent, but when she is sick, she wants to be physically attached to me at all times. ALL times. Day, night, it makes no difference whatsoever. She wants to be in my lap, snuggled up next to me, climbing on me, laying on me…it makes no particular difference to her, as long as we are basically glued together. When she was younger and easier to haul around, this was less of an issue. But now that she’s half as tall as I am and no longer a featherweight, getting around has become exceedingly more difficult. Last time I checked, they didn’t make Baby Bjorns to fit an almost-five-year-old (but even if they did, there is no way I would be able to figure out how to use it. Baby carriers always, always, ALWAYS confounded me).
And last, but not least, Wakko becomes…Zonked!
Wakko is my highest-energy kid, my child who, if he is not actively engaged in an Approved Activity, he will FIND an activity on his own that may or not fall under the umbrella of “Approved.” Over the years, Wakko has committed various shenanigans including, but not limited to: decorating the basement walls with Sharpie, coloring himself with marker, painting himself, putting Play-Doh in various kitchen implements, cutting his sister’s hair, cutting his own hair, cutting his sister’s hair AGAIN, etc. etc. etc.. If you follow me on Facebook, pretty much any adventure I relate containing an “unnamed Wenlet” can be traced back to Wakko.
HOWEVER. When Wakko is sick, he completely shuts down. Seriously. All that kid does is sleep. He will occasionally wake up long enough to take medication or nourishment, and then he’s out again. There are times when I have very nearly forgotten that Wakko is even HOME when he’s sick, which is why I’ve taken to putting him on the living room couch. Much more difficult to walk off and forget about him.
The caveat with this, of course, is that when he does wake up, nine times out of ten he is 100% well and back to his usual shenanigan-y self. I’m always glad to see him up and around and feeling better…but I do have to remember to lock up the Sharpies.
YOUR TURN: What are your kids like when they’re sick? Any fun sick kid stories to share?